Navigating the First Holiday Season After the Loss of a Loved One

The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, connection, and celebration. Yet for those grieving the loss of a loved one, the first holiday without them can feel overwhelming. The lights seem dimmer, traditions feel unfamiliar, and even moments of joy may be accompanied by pangs of guilt or sadness. Grief, especially during a season of togetherness, is both deeply personal and universally felt—but there are ways to honor your loss while caring for your emotional well-being.

Allow Yourself Permission to Feel

One of the greatest challenges during the first holiday without someone important is accepting that your experience may not mirror the festive atmosphere around you. Grief is not linear, and it doesn’t adhere to a calendar. Whether you feel sorrow, frustration, emptiness, or even occasional joy, your emotions are valid.

Instead of pressuring yourself to be “okay,” give yourself permission to move through the season at your own pace. If attending gatherings feels comforting, go. If taking quiet time feels better, honor that need. This year may require adjustments—and that’s completely normal.

Create New Traditions, or Gently Adapt Old Ones

Traditions can be powerful reminders of both love and loss. Some may bring comfort, while others may feel too painful. Consider intentionally reshaping your holiday practices in ways that acknowledge your loved one without overwhelming you:

• Light a candle in their honor during a family meal.
• Set aside a moment of reflection or prayer to acknowledge their memory.
• Engage in an activity they loved, such as baking their favorite dessert or listening to their favorite holiday music.
• Start a new tradition—volunteering, taking a walk, or writing a letter of remembrance.

These gestures can help transform pain into meaningful connection and allow you to carry your loved one’s memory into the future.

Lean on Your Support Network

Grieving can feel isolating, particularly when others seem focused on celebration. Remember that you do not have to endure the season alone. Reach out to friends, family, or trusted community members and share how you’re feeling. Many people want to offer support but may not know how—sometimes a simple conversation can make a significant difference.

Counseling services, faith communities, or support groups—both on campus and in the wider community—can also provide a safe space to process your emotions. At Pierce College, counselors are available to help students navigate personal challenges, including grief and loss.

Practice Self-Compassion

The first holiday season after a loss often brings unexpected waves of emotion. You may find that memories appear suddenly, or activities that once brought joy now feel heavy. Practicing self-compassion means recognizing your humanity and treating yourself with the same gentleness you would offer a friend.

Simple mindfulness practices, journaling, deep breathing exercises, or spending time outdoors can help ground you. Rest when you need to, set boundaries where necessary, and remember that healing is a journey, not a destination.

Honor Their Legacy by Caring for Yourself

The love you shared with your departed loved one continues to shape your life. Honoring that connection may include caring for your own emotional well-being. By allowing yourself space to grieve, connect, and heal, you keep their legacy alive in a meaningful way.

The holidays may never feel exactly the same, but over time, new forms of joy and connection can emerge. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means learning to remember with both tenderness and resilience.